So this is my fourth day here now I think. Probably, at least. Days sort of blend into one.

This is my fourth time to the Canary Islands. That is a really sad statistic. Unfortunately in the winter if you want a flight of no more than four hours or so, and you want guaranteed sun and warmth, there is almost nowhere else you can go.

I have been to Gran Canaria once. It was very ‘gay’ and very “German’ as I remember it. Not that either of those are bad things at all (in fact the reverse) – they were just my overriding impressions. I also got ridiculously ripped off buying a video camera. I was the one they saw coming. I started buying this thing for about £100, and ended up spending about £600 for the same thing, plus a few silly lenses that were crap and that I didn’t need, and never used, as they didn’t work. They are probably still laughing at me now, 15 or so years later. Lesson learned, as they say, albeit an expensive one.

I have also been to Tenerife twice. Once to Los Gigantes, which was quite nice, and once (in fact earlier this very year) to Playa de las Americas. I am not even sure how to describe Playa. Let’s just say that “Linekers Bar” http://www.linekerstenerife.com/index.htm is one of the best things about it, and about as Spanish as it gets. I went there with my son, his girlfriend and my daughter, and we even resorted to going to Hooters. OK, maybe that was my idea. Probably makes me a bad parent in fact. I was never an “earth Dad” if there is such a phrase, come to think of it. The chicken wings were crap too:)

So anyway, on to Lanzarote.

I am in the quiet bit. Apparently you can go to Arraciefe, or to Puerto del Carmen, for Linekers Bar and the like. Or you can come here, where I am, to Playa Blanca. God’s waiting room. I believe that I am the youngest person in the resort, and apparently there are 10,000 tourists here on average! I don’t think I have seen so many wheelchairs in my life.

Playa Blanca beach

The hotel is fine however, even if I have to climb over the wheelchairs at feeding time. I got told off on the first night for not wearing long trousers! Give me a break! I have however walked for Queen and country, the ‘promenade’ (shit, I must be getting old) is 11km long altogether, and I have done the stretch of it twice. I have also been to the gym twice, swum a lot (even if the water in the pool is “brass monkey” cold), and tomorrow I have hired a mountain bike. There is a nearby volcano, and apparently you can cycle most of the way up it in about four hours. I am going for it – bike is hired and ready, my adventure starts at whatever time I arise tomorrow.

Bring it on!